Selena Gomez – Stars Dance | album review


Selena Gomez has slayed it. There is literally nobody else left alive. It’s like a scene from Game of Thrones. Actually, it’s more like Britney’s video for “Slave 4 U“. People are sweating. People are passed out. People are gasping for air on the balcony.

Stars Dance is that good.

Ms Gomez’s “first” “solo” album (yes, double quotation marks because she obviously released things as part of Selena Gomez and The Scene but, honestly, who were those creepy old guys hanging out with a teenager?) shows us a new side of the ex-Disney princess as she diversifies her sound, working with a host of well known producers including Rock Mafia, The Cataracs and Stargate.

It’s been a while since I’ve listened to an album, not only wanting to dance along to almost every song, not only wanting to put together my own choreography for almost every song, but have the album function as my soundtrack to a series of dance classes I want to teach.  While I enquire about renting out studio space, you can read some more after the jump.

Some of the gems of the album include:

Slow Down
sounds like: obvious production values from The Cataracs
Selena is serving up some Till The World Ends fierce on this one, the album’s 2nd single. This is one of those songs about being IN THE CLUB that is perfect for when you are IN A CLUB.
It also features breathing instructions (breathe Selena in, breathe her out) which can be useful to know when dealing with someone who needs CPR and you have a Selena around to administer it. The more you know.

Stars Dance
sounds like: Ellie Goulding gone even more radio friendly
I can totally imagine the album’s title track being performed by Ellie Goulding on Radio 1’s Live Lounge. Listen to it. Think about it.
(Selena, if you or your management are reading this, release this as a single. I’ll take care of the rest with Ellie. It’ll be grand like)

Save the Day
sounds like: a Jennifer Lopez “On The Floor” party except Pitbull’s invitation got lost in the mail (totes awks)
I cannot even. When 6 seconds of this song appeared online a few weeks back, I thought I’d have apoplexy. It was too much. And now hearing it in full… The tribal drums. The glitchy repetition. The Shakira-esque warbling at the 2-and-a-half minute mark. TOO FREAKIN MUCH.

Like A Champion
sounds like: Rihanna’s “What’s My Name?” with less obnoxious raunch combined with everything that made Britney’s “The Hook Up” amazing
I’m rather upset that Selena didn’t release this earlier in the Summer as I clearly don’t have enough hot days left to body ripple with my friends on a beach sipping on a rum-spiked Lilt (that is served in a hollowed-out pineapple) when, out of the blue, someone sprays us all with a cold water hose and we all act surprised (but not angry- cuz we were in dire need of a cool down anyway)… Fuck it, let’s all just go to Barbados in September and make this happen.

Come & Get It
sounds like: Rihanna with Bollywood flare
The album’s first single gave us a delicious taste of where Ms Gomez was going with this album. Let it be known, as of this moment, all dancing to this song must involve traditional Indian hand movements. I favour the old reliable “screw in a light bulb, pat the dog” myself. Also, the middle 8 is literally amazing.

Forget Forever
sounds like: the kind of song you’d hear in the end credits to Mean Girls
This song leaked back in March under the name Rule The World. I have no idea why but I can distinctly picture this being used at the end of a teen movie; imagine a voice speaking over an instrumental before some final line that wraps up the whole plot of the movie before it breaks into the hands-in-the-air bonkers chorus beatz.

B.E.A.T.
sounds like: Bass Down Low 2.0
Has anybody seen Dev? No seriously I haven’t seen her in ages. Oh… She’s been slayed? By Selena. Oh well. We will be hosting a competition on the blog for the best twerking videos made to this song. Watch this space.

Write Your Name
verses sound like: Britney’s “Trouble
chorus sounds like: BONKERS GIRL POP
middle 8 sounds like: THAT Madonna vs Duck Sauce mashup
I think the “sounds like” suggestions kinda cover it

The greatest tragedy is that “Sad Serenade” never made it to the album, a sentiment I share with MuuMuse but thank God we have the internet to ensure that such travesties don’t result in us being deprived the privilege of hearing it.  All hail the Internet.  And Selena.  All hail the Internet and Selena Gomez.

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